what if i said that living in times of pandemic isn’t awful
would that be a GASP of a comment?
what if all the alone that i know and that you endure with me
is in her element.
there i said it. i am actually content.
i may have to stay inside
as all of us have been called on to do
i do that anyway.
i have lived this isolated way for a long while now.
i know this life
I might be poor
i might be alone
but I HAVE
there is content.
and there is gratitude.
2 years ago my building was painted. it went from this hideous red sortof color to a lovely bright white
i started calling it my ivory tower.
if my beard gets any longer
we could add the element of rapunzel to the mix
( ok that just seriously made me laugh )
and yes, i amuse me myself and i often.
a recent tarot card pull
found a woman holding a cat
wearing a very very tall dress
filled with hearts.
i saw myself in this card.
the cat lady in her tower.
the card made my laugh actually
it was so revealing
the card was about contentment.
it affirmed OK-ness.
such a simple thing
what sucks the life out of contentment
or being you in the matter
so and so does this.
so and so looks this way
so and so is in love.
If you let it
comparing messes with contentment
it calls out
on the MORE
NOT good enough.
It messes with you.
I feel that.
i know those thoughts.
who cares what someone else is doing?
This does not include those I know that are so so very sick right now.
That part just envelopes me with an indescribable helplessness
I don’t know how to help.
and when we add that it’s wordly.
well, that’s a larger empathic swell.
it’s so so much bigger than me
The biggest lesson right now for me
I am OK.
I am good.
I am alone
and i am lonely
yet. that’s me.
it’s what is so.
that does not mean i am FINE.
Fine is so. ORDINARY
Fine says nothing about how one is.
I am definitely not ordinary
( taken recently. i love them)