i am not alone in trying to keep it all together
one can either encourage and flatter and be kind
or one can be mean and an asshole.
quite a bit of both from some of you.
i guess i have let some men/fans down.
“not putting out the juicy bits”
“you use to be”
I try and let comments like that roll off my back, i don’t know who the folks are that write that to me, they seem to have an opinion based on something they see and think they know. vs my particular reality – they have NO idea who i am.
however, when you are eeking it,
shit like that just hurts.
being mean does not champion another human.
i’ve lived a long enough life to know that there will always be assholes.
why?? i mean really why?
does asshole move a person forward in life somehow?
with so much tension, isolation, tragedy and harm
people still must be assholes?
on the other side of asshole-ness
which i treasure
you who are kind. you are wonderful, i hope you know that!
as to what I might need or want for my birthday.
and thank you for asking.
seriously. very cool
there is always a wish list. mostly now they are wants ( indulgent ) vs practical need – but something i don’t afford myself are magazine subscriptions.
a few that interest me are:
V fashion magazine – i use this large format glossy deliciously heavy page stock for all my binding art work. That and W magazine. ( thinner, newsprint almost page weight )
Audubon or National Geographic or Orion – i find great bird images in them – which i use often. i use to glean these from our library but since the pandemic. not so much
Sun Magazine for black and white images
the above are about $40 or so annually.
in the realm of magazines i don’t know about – those that highlight flowers, botanicals, quality fabric or textile publications interest me greatly. I just don’t know the titles of those. I need them to be again of a specific quality. martha stewart, dwell or simple living are not of quality – the photography in those are sterile and often flat – i once knew of a shop that had over 2300 magazine titles. or was it 3200 all in one place. ready to buy, to peruse, to have in your hand. woah. i have never paid retail price for a magazine, unless i am in an airport or something. On my shelf currently, almost all the magazines i have are gifted or found, and with those — I make my art.
which as you know, keeps me sane
i ask with no expectation but since some of you wondered
i gave it some thought.