That Something

it’s pitch black dark.

i ate dinner already. empty fridge club and all.

it’s month end

and, i am eeking it.

sales are low.

a very thin crescent moon is rising within the framing of my window. seeing it right now is making me very happy.

my cat is curled up in her little cubby next to the chair that i sit in. no, not the green chair. that chair has lost most of it’s luster. much like I have. it’s only there for company to sit in. but nobody visits. i wonder if i got rid of the chair if all of a sudden company would knock on my door. it’s not like i’ve ever been one to really entertain. I love to cook for another. I did that for staycation, i did that for the man who has a dog instead of dating. i did that for my daughter….

I am in my corner so to speak. the place i do most of my writing. it’s the corner that gives me a view of the space, and the view of the trees and sunsets outside.

the tiffany lamp next to me is the lamp that goes through the most light bulbs.

i made art all day today.

part of that included taking 2 sets of nudes

1, just one,  struck me as appearing to have

that something

that thing inside of me

that is

alive somehow.

i have not felt a desire to photograph myself for some time.

the sameness of it

or the sadness of it

or.

the whatever of it.

just isn’t really there.

a phone call last night with an old male friend

had me laughing out loud.

i ended the call because i was losing my voice.

i don’t do that much anymore.

talk.

the laughing felt really great.

the cat and i

do a lot of silence.

i love the silence.

here is the capture that might remind me

that I am in there.

somewhere.

the moon sliver is now gone.

 

 

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