I Am So Not Together

lets go retro and remember that i was shaking my hips this day because there was a very helpful freelance opportunity. in good times i like to make sound effect noises to the hips that i have. boom da da boom noises. ha!!  well, in my head anyway. no hip shaking these days. not the year for it. opportunities yes –  but something reliable at this time. nope. truth be? i can barely stand myself at the moment. i am not together. i am one big train wreck. how is it one day can be so very different from another. one year. one circumstance. i need a reprieve from stuff not going my way to a series of ideas that all come together like a well thought out executed plan. like patreon. i mean what a concept, but one needs patrons to have it be fruitful. it’s taking me more time than i expected to see just how it works. which is ok. i like learning. pay out. i think i might have finally figured that out. sigh. there are two patrons so far. yay!! my postings are supposed to be patrons only – but i don’t get that. i get the nudity = patron only part. but i post non-nudes for public viewing – can non-patrons see that??? and then JUST the two patrons see the nude postings?? or patron only postings?   i feel like if someone is a stranger to my work. they might not get the public conversation. or be drawn in by the public conversation. PERHAPS ooops caps — perhaps it’s all too desperate??  like i really am???


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