The Difference A Day Makes

funny what one tells themselves as a drama unfolds.

that the belief you have about a circumstance

or in a person

could very well be what you need to believe in order to survive.

where the actual reality.

the realness of it all,

is completely different.

my reality with mr cowboy shifted this weekend

i remember when my father got mad

it was if his anger filled the space

and the room completely trembled.

that mans teeth rattled.

when he was mad

the anger blew out his ears.

he and seemingly all the men in my life

then go silent.

they say nothing for long brutal extended periods of time

i feel that they fear that saying something wrong

would have them lose the little control they feel in the world.

when someone does the silence thing.

i feel

it is THE most belittling

disrespectful action.

ever.

however declarative i feel about it.

it is seemingly in every path of life i take.

last night mr cowboy lost it.

he pointed his finger and he TOLD me.

emotional bullying.

i have never been spoke to that way before.

not with a tone of hatred.

not in a way that felt frightening.

not in a way that has me startled

and think to myself wow –

for the first time since i have known you i don’t like who you are.

the situation is now more than uncomfortable.

P1010004

2 thoughts on “The Difference A Day Makes

  1. You know sometimes things boil over even if your watching the pot. We all have breaking points, we all have outside influences and they all combine at times and just boils over. It’s never pleasant, never pretty and usually not even realized by the person doing it. This is not an excuse to do it or say it the way it was said. There is no excuse but I think it’s something in us all that unfortunately once in a while sneaks out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.