since meeting mr cowboy
i have observed some photography
other than my nude work
that i think is symbolic
or at least gestural
about where i am in my life.
to replay the whole story a bit:
i was divorced in 2007
the demise of that marriage
began in 2005.
we were together ten years.
my confidence re: dating was nill.
prior i was with and married to the father of my kids.
sometimes when i think of it as twenty eight years all told.
i think – wow, that is a lot of years wasted.
not that those years didn’t have their positives.
once my second marriage ended
my life was pretty complicated.
still had children at home.
i emotionally spiralled.
lost some time.
lost some soul.
definitely lost me.
in 2009 i relocated.
some not so good things about that move
and some good things.
the good included the purchase of this home
the space and place, the four walls and windows of which all of you know so well.
There was one pervasive bad.
i began collecting dating stories.
forward to the fall of 2013.
my mr cowboy.
our first meet
a phone call, our 3rd call perhaps?
are you free this evening?
it was a few days before my birthday
my birthday was supposed to be our first date.
by design ?
but to me
when i saw it
after taking it
i felt like i was setting a stage.
come sit with me.
i already had an immediate phone like with this guy
i loved how he first reached out to me
he actually read my online dating profile.
i was really excited to meet him.
i felt pretty and sexy
even with the holy shit
throw something on
brush my hair
i had like 20 minutes to do that and get there.