me thinks the universe has tilted.
that i am hanging on from it’s edges for the life of me.
two mechanics have said now that they will not work on my car.
i have listed it on craigs lists for parts
secured a loaner vehicle from mr nashville, a platonic friend who travels.
thank goodness for the holidays.
i have a rather sweet ride until the end of december.
in that, the universe is grand.
i feel an incredible overwhelm in two ways.
how do i raise funds for a decent dependable car?
what the heck do i buy?
i have had betty blue for 16 years.
i knew her.
things like this have you narrate in your head all ones past car bullshit.
my used car past narrates a lot like my life.
complete with names like joey and beater bud.
incidents like cars blowing up on the highway with everything you own inside them. to decisions of abandoning one because getting another was cheaper than paying the parking tickets ( yup, did that once)
having one car that was reliable for a long while was a nice thing.
could i have that again please.
don’t think i am a fool
my car was going to go
it was just a matter of time
just now is
seriously bad timing.
i am however reminded that kicks in the teeth have happened before.
like my journey west.
a year ago
i had belongings to sell, and friends who wanted to buy them.
i had art, and i still have art TO SELL.
and the kindness of strangers continues to floor me.
i hope to raise funds through december
and see how much i can gather.
depending on what i can muster
is what i will budget.
my mechanic said he could source me a good car for around two thousand
what do you think?
i have $200, Kids are sending what they can, and some friends want to start a go fund me account.
of course when i am sourcing pics i find all these shots of my car.
does the seat belt bother your neck when you drive?
i have to wear a scarf
yesterday someone told me that i was an exhibitionist.
i have to disagree.
if i was i would have been consumed with capturing myself
at every turn of this trip.
i actually feel like i had a detached relatedness to myself
most of the way
almost like i didn’t know who i was
this picture in the blue dress
there i am.
i felt beautiful here for some reason.
the feeling of detachment however
has been rather prevalent
this past year.