Butt Included

•May 20, 2015 • 2 Comments

taken a year ago

this was mr cowboy and i taking on

our first entire long weekend together

in what we knew as part-time dating.

when i look at these now

the space is no longer his

but ours

filled with

he and i

and filled as an us.

certainly doesn’t look like this anymore.

before i moved in it was sparse, albeit very tidy, which i found very endearing somehow.

it lacked charm, art and room for two, and cardamom.

he has since said I have made it a home.

( uh – good answer!)

and since i basically filled it with me.

( well less me since i did all that downsizing and purging).

or me things …

it’s more cozy, has an eclectic sense of decor and a lot less guy.

in recent times he expressed

a very declarative affection for my butt.

his past ladies

did not have a butt like mine

i remember looking at this image of him grabbing me

and thinking

yeah that’s a seriously big bottom.

clearly he’s a slight man. beautifully lean. very strong hands.

and when he grabs me

well.

i am pretty much a goner.

meaning,  l love love love the attention he gives me

butt included.

his slightness and my bigness certainly gives my butt some perspective though.

speaking of, i can’t say that full time has all been full of sunshine and flowers.

we are definitely navigating the ups and downs of a new full time relationship.

yet on the other side of whatever occurs between us

i have a knowing

that i have not had in a long while

of being tremendously cherished.

butt included.

i photographed the fishing poles

because it too was new to me

and i thought they looked couple like.

last summer each time we did fish he caught none.

i did not catch any.

while i don’t dislike fishing.

it would not be my go to thing to do.

more like…ok I’ll go.  or are their doughnuts? can we take a picnic and beer?

this year with a squall of gnats all over me and ticks found on him upon one venture….

i feel really grossed out by the idea of fishing.

at least where the gnats and ticks are

 

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In Shadow

•May 14, 2015 • Leave a Comment

a signature of my non-nude work is shots often taken in silhouette.

great way to maintain privacy.

today i went on a walk about and took some shots in the warehouse district with a fellow creative.

VERY fun.

i took my new camera

i find i am beginning to get a sense of the distinctions between images taken with my canon vs pentax

quite a few were in shadow.

below.

first shot

( taken a year ago )

us as a family.

it feels like this now in every sense of the word.

my solo poppy from my former garden …which i am not sure what it’s doing now.

sad to have left my plants behind.

and as always a noticing of light or shadows dancing on the floor.

i miss these wood floors too.

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Day To Dayness

•May 6, 2015 • 1 Comment

it is going to take some time to find the light here at our new home.

i am clear that the nuances of light are not something my cowboy gets

and or

understands how

they please me in my day to dayness of things.

these were taken at what is familiar to you here at the blog.

ordinary stuff. old place.

a fond memory now for me.

especially the light.

my day to day still includes

a house frock

hair up

and the simplicity of my day to day.

in it includes less domestic tasks because they are shared.

gotta love that

yet a heightened need to be more accountable that way.

like it matters.

which i really am loving.

my work life is in this holding pattern.

not quite uncomfortable

more like a volume of time that is different then before the move

and a lonely that comes from being away from what you know.

the building of new

also on hold.

on the “to do” is.

sell the house.

settle in financially

support the man

emotionally

physically. ( uh yum )

and figure out where i fit in the world

yet

again.

did i tell you that i am officially not sharing from my iphoto portfolio’s any longer?

what this means is my work is now all coming from or produced in LightRoom

a learning curve i began 2 years ago.

I feel this shift made a very strong impact on what i am calling my signature as an artist.

 

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For Image Giggle Sake

•May 1, 2015 • 3 Comments

i have been told that i capture light rather well

and

that i capture myself and light

in a very captivating way.

i really really love hearing that.

its a tad silly sometimes

the playful experimenting i have done.

imagine if you will that i am making dinner.

you know the usual scene

something is simmering.

i am unloading the dishwasher.

company is coming.

every day life stuff.

the light hit this area ever so

and

 

yes,

i found myself pulling my pants down

and for image giggle sake

squatting and crawling underneath my dining room table to put myself into the light.

not sure if you know folks in your immediate circle of influence who do that …

but you do know me.

last night i had a 4 hour drive.

full throttle rush hour traffic.

into the sun

the entire way.

i was cultivating a seriously wicked headache

I was feeling really impatient.

it all made me be crabby and irritated

the last hour of the drive the light was so magical.

the country road i was on was filled with

such wonderful moments.

i would have stopped to capture many

had it not been for this guy driving up my ass

my headache and impatience were not on my side.

i did stop once.

snapped a side road bit of golden hour moment.

enough for me to feel i hadn’t taken it all for granted.

did i tell you that i arrived home to the arms of my mr cowboy?

talk about sweet.

he helped me get rid of my headache.

giggle.

 

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And So It Used To Be

•April 24, 2015 • 6 Comments

and so it used to be that weekends meant mr cowboy time.

and with that came two things:

both tremendous anticipation and heartbreak.

all that looking forward to

just to see,

and be,

with this ever so dynamic, interesting and attentive man.

made his arrival the most glorious thing.

ever.

and then he would leave.

and,

i would be left with an indescribable

emptiness.

each and every weekend.

thus what would describe us part-time.

if he came to me the leaving would be more intense

because it was always mid-day on sunday.

he would kiss me one last time and say “got to go”

kerplunk.

where as if i was his way, i would sleep over another night

and not have such an abrupt sense of loss

because i’d slip away quietly after he went to work

less kerplunky.

at least in my mind.

i guess it was my way of making my time with him last just a tad longer.

one of the positives of our time together is the way I would feel physically.

since much of our time spent together was intimate

i would have that kissed all over feeling.

that trail of intensity that only comes with

two connecting in that private very sexual way.

i love this set of images

because it exactly examples

how excited my body felt

after he had left his trail of lust and affection.

by the by i love that word

lust.

don’t you?

doesn’t it just say it all?

and excuse me, but THAT is a lovely shot of a just kissed nipple

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Northern Light Karma

•April 22, 2015 • 2 Comments

a photography friend suggested i consider a north window for a nice source of natural light.

hmmmmmm.

my green chair and i spent most of our time in an east, south, west light space.

we did this for survival, warmth and brightness

the 2 north windows i had

( remember i’ve since moved )

i stayed away from.

the rooms vibe was off

cool somehow and uninviting.

but

i gave it a go

before i left for my spring residency.

and.

i have to say.

it was a good suggestion.

ironically the room i stayed in while away

was invitingly north.

i took that as a bit of light karma.

 

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Bursting Of Sorts

•April 15, 2015 • 12 Comments

spring is such a bursting of sorts.

everything about it to me

is natures reminder

of coupling.

The beauty of connection between one and another.

that co-mingling.

hard ons and openings.

one big natural fuck.

would you agree?

often i am asked if arousal is part of my photographic process.

indeed it is!

in the beginning i didn’t have a relatedness to that part of myself

i didn’t know myself that way.

almost like i was a prude

i am grateful not only that i know now.

that I express it through my photography.

AND

that i can share with confidence what I know about myself with my lover.

just a reality note to myself:  there is nowhere here in my new living space to bathe in this kind of light.

sigh.

i am without a garden for now also.

more sigh.

and shit, i no longer have these chairs either.

SIGH.

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