i should know better to post on the weekends because folks are rarely here, but hey i did capture something old and something current and it made me smile. see? same outfit. giggle. obviously i really need a life if this is all i’ve got going for me
get out of town.
i have this very same outfit on
like right now.
yes, this very minute
i am adorned exactly the same way as these shots!
that around the house
obviously nothing fancy.
hair up in a clip.
this image series
was taken at the cave.
it was wicked hot that day.
not sure what i was making there…
i also have a sweatshirt on.
cuz …it’s not hot here.
just so you know.
we are celebrating.
today is the very day mr cowboy
one year ago,
as i described it then,
that was a day that
my life turned upside down.
a breakupversary! ha!!!
we can call that word an AN – ism.
i am so over the break up. him.
so to speak.
just not over.
the lack of completion around it all.
chalk it up i guess to those times in your life where someone is simply passing you by.
there is a sameness to my life sometimes
i will have to replicate this series here in my country studio.
keep that sameness thing going.
that thing you do when you see a really really inexpensive dress and you buy it.
you put it on and you are like.
there is that thing you do
because you are menopausal
and in the midwest
your not only hot.
you are menopausally hot
which don’t get me wrong is a completely different hot
than the hot that comes with being pregnant on the 5th floor of your city apartment without air conditioning
some years prior.
like 29 years ago prior.
the thing is?
you JUST DONT CARE
because the dress is like wearing nothing
and it generally covers all
your bad spots.
the truth is…
the dress is
this arrived in the mail yesterday.
a gift from mr san fran, he is someone who gifts me on my birthday or when i’ve moved. i find his kindness sweet, and very very generous.
he wondered if anyone had gifted my dildo that had broken.
a few days later.
as dildo’s go, it’s a mini. meaning. it’s not as long and girthy as my former, however it’s nice and hard, and curved just right. i like the pink glass. it’s pretty!!
and thank you!!!
not sure how my system of sharing here evolved, perhaps i feared that if i ever shared images in actual here i am time, that i’d be scrambling to take another something nude and lose what i feel is authentic nudity vs what i see so many others doing, that… here is my nudity for the day shot. ( mouthful of a sentence – sorry ) does that makes sense though?? add that i share in sequence because that is how i think and process things. well here we are sequentially. right in the prime of heartbreak with mr cowboy. i could perhaps not mention the …this was taken then, but truth be. i am really still making sense of it all. i mean what a twilight zone ya know? i brought my green chair to the cave, but as light and space challenged as it was there, my work place ended up being this blue couch corner so to speak. i mean look at how dark it was? that was a morning picture!!
i had dabbled with this laying on the couch pose before. it seems so classic some how and so so very alone. which is the feeling that purveyed during that time. I love these. i love the way the couch felt against my body.
i still don’t understand how one can invite you to live with them, for the purpose of helping you, and because they say they are thrilled by your very good company and then they just ignore you. i would sit here. he would have gone to bed. early. again. and the silence and hurt would be thick around me.
even the pup had “i feel your pain” eyes. ( what a love she was ) if could afford to feed an animal – i’d get one in a heartbeat. this dog got me through the cave days!!
had i realized how much i loved these.
i would have taken more shots here.
this was in front of the bathroom door closed
and across from the washer and dryer,
in the little hallway that connected the kitchen to the living room.
it was about this time last year when things started to spiral
between he and i.
i am now feeling the memories of it all.
i think here i was looking really hard
at what he might have seen in me.
i wasn’t feeling it then.
i saw it here.
i am beautiful!!
when i am attracted to a man
i like to look at all the parts.
the parts that i like.
whatever that might be
it’s like the parts please me
if i were a man.
i’d enjoy this view.
and the parts.