Once Upon A Time

•July 25, 2015 • 2 Comments

once upon a time an alter ego creative met a blue eyed cowboy.

he wooed her with kisses, simple charm, told her that she was the love of his life and invited her to live with him.

her story began before she ever met him, solo too long, nude in self expression, a closet creative – now out of the closet, a starving artist.

strident, resourceful and believing,  she put all of her heart and eggs into the cowboy loves me basket.

the move was seamless, the transition intense.

the give and take took something.

she felt in awe of the patience they practiced

she thought how much she was learning from the experience.

four months into it she felt safe and happy.

she could breath.

she could love

she could think again

she began to create.

she believed again in coupling.

cowboy however was not happy.

he had regrets

he felt the responsibilities of something full time was more than he could offer or bear.

he could no longer play house

he ended the relationship.

the shock hit her in the face

hard.

vodka, tears and misunderstanding ensued.

he crawled into bed.  asleep and sound almost immediately.

she too crawled into bed

eyes wide

tears spent

mind reeling

how, what, why, now what

fuck.

the next morning he needed a ride to work.

awkward

tremendously intense.

she drove.

on the way,

she was struck with a tenderness for him

it was just there.

it was as if her heart was speaking

vs her panic.

she felt sad. so so so very sad

but she wasn’t angry.

at all.

listen to this she thought.

he offered her an exit strategy.

a place to stay, time, a small bit of cash

she asked if they could foster civility

lets do this as friends.

they agreed.

and so while the happily ever after isn’t.

and the unexpected has arrived.

the story continues.

once upon a time.

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met mr cowboy in september 2013  – his wide eyed smile captured me.

he could not get enough of me

boy did that feel wonderful.

along the way i photographed our journey.

this morning looked at them all.

wow.

sobbed my eyes out.

of all,

this is the one that i say fits the occasion known as he and I.

says so much

an image

doesn’t it?

i had the camera on a stool.

sun was streaming in

we had just made drinks.

humor me i said

he did

i used the timer

ms o got into the action.

love her ear here.

she too is part of the story.

the end.

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Snap Up What It Is That You See

•July 21, 2015 • Leave a Comment

my former lives include multiple swells of breast.

scullery maid: barefoot, dirt floors, filthy hemlines and blouses made of thin muslin.

assistant to the queen: ever so corseted in

medicine woman – sheer gauze flowing dresses

in todays time this was just me with my dress on backwards.

this sunset was on the 4th of july

sometimes you see something and you photograph it

intending that it snaps up the feeling of what you see.

both of these images do that.

 

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Summer Glory

•July 15, 2015 • 4 Comments

oh the glory of summer

its floral bounty

its edible delights

and its color.

oh the color!!

put this dress on backwards

didn’t even notice.

until i looked at this photograph.

the knees and feet give it away.

otherwise how would you know?

made me laugh.

mosquito bites.

don’t know about you

but they love me.

if i spent more time outside

they would eat me out of blood and home.

i have been feeling princess like

( if any of you know me well – i am far from a princess)

yet i feel the having.

like having a car to drive

or a fridge full of food

or air conditioning.

has one assume that these things are deserved.

so many do not have these luxuries.

then there is the princess and the pea – ness about me.

this has to do with the covers/linen on the bed being just right.

ask mr cowboy. he knows.

note:  remember that i was gifted a new camera??  i have taken on only using that camera for the month of july. the practice is going well.  as a matter of fact i took an image similar to this in my new kitchen using the timer –  finally, took a bit to figure that out. i will share those sometime soon

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No One Tells You

•July 7, 2015 • 7 Comments

the aging female

very few woman i know discuss this thing called getting older

there are woman who embrace it with grace

those who fight it every step of the way

and those who alter themselves

hoping to forever create a facade of their young selves gone by

by the time i hit 50

i had inclinations.

seems lately those inclinations are getting louder.

noone tells you

oh honey …

just you wait.

those breasts of yours are going to REALLY fall

when they do fall you are going to curse that lacey pink underwire bra.

you are going to rather go braless and droop to your knees than try and take all of that flesh and shove it into one of those contraptions.

those hairs on your chin

you think they are bad now

just you wait.

it might be the only place you shave on your entire body but your going to have to do that twice a day if you want to share yourself publically.

or that belly

uh,

get used to it.

it gets bigger.

and rounder.

why do you think elder woman shift to all things elastic?

lets look at this image taken in 2014.

which i actually love.

it took something to find the love.

for myself.

looking as round as i do here.

and you may offer all your compliments and adoration.

thank you.

the most important place of love

is self love.

that is when what you say is affirmed.

fast forward to current times

and my body is again

transforming

it takes SOMETHING

to love it.

i will show you sometime

i promise.

i pulled the shot taken at the park from the same time period

because i love it’s sense of journey

and it’s pop of color

in it’s dark shadow sort of way.

 

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Wouldn’t Be Anonymous Of Me

•July 2, 2015 • Leave a Comment

a year ago i got hit with a series of bad luck days – everything from food poisoning ( oh my gosh – never ever had I been so sick. ever.) house vandalism, falling ceiling issues, car issues, hvac issues, and the continued issue of not being able to afford my home. i was at a low. i took a series of face shots when i started to get over the stomach stuff – the sun was streaming in and I couldn’t get enough of it, and i saw “me” again.  despite being down.  i knew i could get to the other side of it all. while i won’t share the face shots here, cuz that wouldn’t be very anonymous of me. i enjoy the abstract nature of these enough to share.  

odessa – mr cowboy’s shepard came to stay with me for a week during that time. i took a zillion images of her and got use to her good company.  now that i live with them both, i have a zillion trillion of her.  she’s a goof of a dog, but very very beautiful to look at, and still very good company. 

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The Thick Of It

•June 24, 2015 • 4 Comments

very early in my artful nude self portrait days i had an experience on a drive home wearing this very tunic.

i had this man in my mind, someone i wanted to meet, tryst with, someone i ached to touch.

it was a virtual man.

a fan.

unfortunately not a reality.

driving home i noticed my thick hair as it fell on my back

its wisps ticking the side of my neck

i experienced the swell of my breasts as they billowed

my finger caressed my swell

goosebumps found me

the drive was tedious

i entertained myself in my mind

by thinking that he

this man

was waiting for me.

when i arrived home that day

i was wound up.

hot for the imagined man

and his want of me.

the images i took in those moments were really sexy.

and the first of that kind.

prompted by fantasy and lust.

exampling lonely at that time.

yet expressed.

this more recent shot reminds me of that series.

grabbing at myself and enjoying it.

giggle.

we are in the thick of it now, are we not?

summer.

shadows.

coupling.

two becoming one.

hot and vibrant.

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Amuse Me

•June 17, 2015 • 6 Comments

first picture.  the intensity of shadows. they truly pull me to them.  love the little holes of the metal steps casting themselves. playing with shadows pleases me. my non-nude self. the way i see things.

following images just amuse me to no end.  they capture me in my alone space. i was hot and sweaty, i tried wearing a pony tail – it had been years, i found myself pulling at it – like a playful child.  i was cooking, dishes needed to be done, my feet were dirty. it was sunny. i was happy. 

exactly.  

 

 

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