And So It Used To Be

•April 24, 2015 • 2 Comments

and so it used to be that weekends meant mr cowboy time.

and with that came two things:

both tremendous anticipation and heartbreak.

all that looking forward to

just to see,

and be,

with this ever so dynamic, interesting and attentive man.

made his arrival the most glorious thing.

ever.

and then he would leave.

and,

i would be left with an indescribable

emptiness.

each and every weekend.

thus what would describe us part-time.

if he came to me the leaving would be more intense

because it was always mid-day on sunday.

he would kiss me one last time and say “got to go”

kerplunk.

where as if i was his way, i would sleep over another night

and not have such an abrupt sense of loss

because i’d slip away quietly after he went to work

less kerplunky.

at least in my mind.

i guess it was my way of making my time with him last just a tad longer.

one of the positives of our time together is the way I would feel physically.

since much of our time spent together was intimate

i would have that kissed all over feeling.

that trail of intensity that only comes with

two connecting in that private very sexual way.

i love this set of images

because it exactly examples

how excited my body felt

after he had left his trail of lust and affection.

by the by i love that word

lust.

don’t you?

doesn’t it just say it all?

and excuse me, but THAT is a lovely shot of a just kissed nipple

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Northern Light Karma

•April 22, 2015 • Leave a Comment

a photography friend suggested i consider a north window for a nice source of natural light.

hmmmmmm.

my green chair and i spent most of our time in an east, south, west light space.

we did this for survival, warmth and brightness

the 2 north windows i had

( remember i’ve since moved )

i stayed away from.

the rooms vibe was off

cool somehow and uninviting.

but

i gave it a go

before i left for my spring residency.

and.

i have to say.

it was a good suggestion.

ironically the room i stayed in while away

was invitingly north.

i took that as a bit of light karma.

 

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Bursting Of Sorts

•April 15, 2015 • 10 Comments

spring is such a bursting of sorts.

everything about it to me

is natures reminder

of coupling.

The beauty of connection between one and another.

that co-mingling.

hard ons and openings.

one big natural fuck.

would you agree?

often i am asked if arousal is part of my photographic process.

indeed it is!

in the beginning i didn’t have a relatedness to that part of myself

i didn’t know myself that way.

almost like i was a prude

i am grateful not only that i know now.

that I express it through my photography.

AND

that i can share with confidence what I know about myself with my lover.

just a reality note to myself:  there is nowhere here in my new living space to bathe in this kind of light.

sigh.

i am without a garden for now also.

more sigh.

and shit, i no longer have these chairs either.

SIGH.

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Foam Cups

•April 9, 2015 • 2 Comments

the dress was a gift.

i grew to dislike it

as it had those sewn in foam cups

whoever designs stupid things like that

must have been a man.

the most ridiculous things ever.

i have heard of woman who like a smooth look

i like the natural look of my nipples personally

granted when they start pointing south

it’s not as much of a look anymore.

ugh.

this has become a house dress of sorts.

nipple look and all.

the sunset was one of those “in the car” spring moments

that had you grateful for just being there.

not sure the capture does it justice.

as an image it did help me relive the moment though

 

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Natural Tension

•April 3, 2015 • 2 Comments

these were taken

one year ago.

as i look at them now i am immediately drawn to how it feels to have this mans arms around me

or to have his ass fit so nicely into the palm of my hand. giggle.

the shoot was originally designed to highlight those shoes

they hurt my feet. even without standing in them

and truth be as images were taken

the shoes became very secondary.

now that this kitchen is “ours”

it looks a bit different

and when i feel settled in

i will perhaps replicate this series.

blue is the color that gets me through the winter.

and when the seasons shift

i seem to feel blue

in an even more magnified way.

i admit that the leafless trees are a draw also.

such dramatic expression.

i would say that the word for the day is inbetween.

inbetween seasons, inbetween being settled in a new place

going from part time to full time w/ mr cowboy.

it has a tension to it.

a natural occurence ( sp??) in the face of change.

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It’s Official

•March 30, 2015 • Leave a Comment

well it’s officially official!!

over the weekend i moved in with mr cowboy!

while of course hectic

the move was seamless.

i was packed.

and

that man hurls upholstered furniture over his head and does a flight of stairs effortlessly.

like who knew.

we had help loading at my place but past that he did it all.

LONG day.

it was crisp and sunny out.

like perfect.

transitioning from a small home to an uber tiny apartment

took something on my part.

happy to say that i am in, my stuff fit

and what didn’t, just fit into the smallest storage unit.

the ugh of unpacking will be a challenge too

I am ready

and

i am not managing that on my own.

there are kisses along the way.

giggle.

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Five Day Countdown

•March 23, 2015 • Leave a Comment

as i type/add this post, someone is here clicking at a furious and fast pace 

love when that happens.

seriously.

it’s like watching time go by. 

welcome and thank you for stopping by.

i am just 5 days from moving in with mr cowboy.

pinch me when i say that.

it feels as surreal as it sounds.

yet

it’s really really happening

in just 5 days!!

when i wait for him to come to bed

i might slip something on

for him.

and usually in the moment

i don’t think to snap an image

but i did this time.

i love the grit of these.

the framing of the door.

and the happenstance of the camera places on the tv.

~~

one of the trials of our 18 months together has been the commute.

( did i tell you that moving day celebrates that?  exactly 18 months! woot!!)

these images share the pause i occasionally took to capture that trek.

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