taken in 2009
less silver threads
shaved arm pits
less inner thigh flesh
sometimes while driving i will set my camera to auto and randomly snap.
quite often i actually get an image that speaks to me
this particular evening i felt like i could not get to mr cowboys fast enough
the sky was so beautiful and so intoxicating
it was like foreplay.
granted these images are drive by’s
a blur of color
yet to me they hold onto that
i felt all the way there.
mr cowboy was new to my photography
and i was new to capturing
someone that seemed to be into me
this moment was brief
and very very tender.
as it seemed to always be with us
we were onto other things
me thinks that if there was a drug called kissing.
i’d become addicted to it.
one of the many things i am deeply missing
is the kissing
18 days without now
i find it absolutely fascinating
how the mind holds onto certain details
that kissing him in my mind
makes my stomach do flip flops.
if i let myself think about it long enough
multiple dates in a row was not part of what i knew
weekends were the hardest before we met.
yup. i get to now do that weekend alone thing.
when i left for my residency,
he awaited my return.
another i didn’t know.
when i first began to photograph myself
i was the unknown
and when looking evolved
i asked myself
well gosh what does that look like?
a reveal of a breast
a gift someone sent me adorned.
i was seeking to understand my appeal.
i see it.
if i am so f-ing appealing
what has me here.
capturing mr cowboys and my kisses
was about seeing what tenderness and attraction looked like.
does this look as gorgeous as it feels.
this was maybe our 4th date, right after I returned.
we were still awkward.
the weather was shifting
as it is now,
a year-ish later.
this was early morning
i miss this.
when i was 27
on this very day
i gave birth to a son
its amazing what details flood back